something was off?
No one had to tell you.
Maybe everyone was unusually quiet. Maybe someone was irritated. Maybe the room just felt rushed or tense.
You could feel it before anyone said a word.
And the opposite is true too.
There are people who have a way of making a room feel a little easier simply because they are in it.
They aren't necessarily saying anything profound.
They aren't trying to fix everyone.
They're just... steady.
Their presence brings a different kind of energy into the room.
I've been thinking about that lately because we've spent September talking about staying grounded.
We've talked about returning to center when life starts moving quickly. We've talked about recognizing that everything that feels urgent isn't necessarily important. And last week, we talked about resisting the pressure to match the world's pace.
But maybe there's another reason learning to stay grounded matters.
We don't keep our state entirely to ourselves.
We bring it with us.
Into meetings.
Into our homes.
Into conversations.
Into the grocery store.
Into the car.
Into the way we answer the phone.
Into the first five minutes after we walk through the door at the end of a long day.
Whether we realize it or not, we affect the spaces we enter.
We Set a Tone More Often Than We Realize
Think about what happens when someone walks into a room already rushed.
Their words are faster.
Their movements are quicker.
Maybe they're sighing, looking at the clock, checking their phone, or immediately talking about everything that needs to happen.
And without anyone consciously deciding to, everyone else can begin speeding up too.
The energy shifts.
But someone can change a room in the other direction too.
A calm hello.
A thoughtful question.
Someone who actually listens without rushing you.
Someone who doesn't immediately escalate when something goes wrong.
Someone who can simply say:
Okay. Let's figure this out.
There's something incredibly grounding about being around someone who isn't adding more urgency to an already stressful situation.
And maybe that's one of the quieter benefits of learning how to regulate ourselves.
Calm doesn't only change our experience. It also changes the experience of the people around us.
Calm Doesn't Mean Pretending Everything Is Fine
I want to be especially clear here, because being calm doesn't mean we're supposed to become the person who never gets frustrated, angry, worried, overwhelmed, or upset.
That's not realistic.
And frankly, it doesn't sound particularly healthy either.
We're human.
Things get to us.
People irritate us.
Plans fall apart.
Some days we handle things beautifully while other days... not so much.
Staying grounded isn't about pretending we don't have a reaction. It's about noticing what happens after the reaction arrives.
Do I automatically hand my stress to the next person?
Do I match someone else's intensity?
Do I make the room more frantic because I'm feeling frantic?
Or can I give myself just enough space to decide what I want to bring into what happens next?
That's different. And it's a practice.
You Don't Have to Match the Energy You're Given
Maybe this is where everything we've talked about this month comes together.
You can return to center.
You can decide what actually deserves your urgency.
You can move at the pace that makes sense for you.
And you can choose not to absorb—or automatically return—every energy that comes your way.
Someone else can be rushed without you rushing.
Someone else can be irritated without you becoming irritated.
Someone else can be anxious without you taking responsibility for making their anxiety disappear.
You can remain present.
You can listen.
You can respond.
And you can stay yourself in the process.
Maybe that's what being grounded really gives us.
Not control over what happens around us.
But more choice about who we are inside of it.
And the beautiful thing is... that steadiness can have a ripple effect.
A calmer conversation can change the next conversation.
One person slowing down can give someone else permission to slow down.
One thoughtful response can keep frustration from becoming conflict.
One grounded person can change the temperature of a room.
Not always.
Not magically.
But more often than we probably realize.
One Intentional Step
This week, before you walk into one place you regularly enter—a meeting, your home, an appointment, a gathering, even a phone conversation—pause for just a moment.
Instead of asking:
What do I need to do here?
Ask:
What do I want to bring into this space?
Maybe it's calm.
Maybe patience.
Maybe curiosity.
Maybe humor.
Maybe confidence.
Maybe simply your full attention.
Take one full breath before you enter.
Then bring that with you.
You don't have to control the room.
Just notice what happens when you become intentional about what you're contributing to it.
Community Reflection
Who is someone in your life whose presence seems to settle a room?
What is it about them?
And perhaps the more interesting question:
How do you want people to feel when they've spent time with you?
I've been thinking about that one.
Because maybe staying grounded was never only about helping ourselves feel calmer.
Maybe it's also about becoming more intentional about what we carry with us into the lives of other people.
Calm has a way of traveling.
So does kindness.
So does patience.
So does joy.
And next month, we're going to take that idea one step further.
We've spent September talking about how to stay grounded in the middle of a life that keeps moving.
In October, our conversation shifts to living intentionally.
Because once we stop letting everything around us determine our pace, our priorities, and our state... we have a little more room to decide what we actually want to do with this life of ours.
Until next time...
Grant yourself a little grace.
Trust yourself a little more.
And take one intentional step.
Be well,
Mary-Anne
